A Family for Every Child is dedicated to finding loving, permanent families for every waiting foster child. Our blog is focused on providing support to families who are thinking about or are a part of the foster care or adoption process.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

How to Grow you Heart By giving it Away

How to Grow You Heart by Giving it Away

No one can say it better than a former foster child.

I came across a powerful blog written by a former foster child. Honestly our hearts broke for her and for the thousands and thousands of other kids that we as a society have failed miserably. Although all the information on the blog is anonymous, I found myself longing to help her.
If you are a foster parent (or even if you’re not!) the following excerpt from LT’s blog will be invaluable to you. It’s lengthy but extremely important. Here is what she had to say about what makes a good foster parent:
1. Caring and Interest
Show interest in the child. Ask what is going on in their world. Ask what they feel. They may not answer, but show that you are interested. Showing interest shows you care. In so many of the foster homes/group homes I stayed in, no-one even asked about school, let alone how I felt or what was going on in my world. I knew they never cared about me. Foster kids may act like we don’t want you to care about us, but deep down we do. We are just trying to protect ourselves from getting hurt again.
Show you care. Sometimes children in foster care “can’t hear” your caring. You tell them you care and they say “*!?* you.” Sometimes words mean nothing to a foster kid, because words have been nothing but lies from their bio-parents and therefore hold no weight. Therefore, show you care. This takes more effort, but do it.
Examples:
• Go out of the way to cook their favorite dinner
• Ask to see their homework
• If they did well on a test or an assignment — display it on the refrigerator or go celebrate
• Spend time with the child doing an activity – walking the dog, playing football, etc.
Sometimes actions speak much louder than words – in a foster kids world. As trust develops, words become important, but at first it might be actions

2. Patience, Gentleness, Steadiness; but Firm Boundaries
I don’t believe in yelling at foster children and I actually do not believe in “tough parenting or tough punishment.” These kids have had enough “toughness” and hostility in their lives. I think of a good foster parent as acting similar to how the Taoist describe water. Water flows gently and peacefully, but over time is so powerful that it is able to carve through rock.
Display gentleness, steadiness, and firm boundaries regarding what is appropriate and what is not. Set the boundaries early in the relationship. When the boundaries are tested, stand firm; not with hostility but explanation.
For example:
• “LT, we eat at the table; not walking around the house because we don’t won’t crumbs everywhere. Come and sit down.”
• “LT, we don’t condone you smoking. You can NOT smoke in the house. If you are going to smoke which is not healthy for you, you must smoke outside. If you smoke inside, we will take the cigarettes.”
• “LT, sneaking out at night is NOT permitted. We care where you are and are concerned if you are missing. One more time and you will spend the next month of weekends with us cleaning the garage and helping out at the community food shelter.”
Notice, boundary is said, explanation of caring and why it is not appropriate to break the boundary, and some discipline if necessary.
Expect the boundaries to be tested. This is a way of establishing whether you are trustworthy.
Showing anger, toughness, or threats will most likely make the child react “worse” – because they are testing you to take the next step. Stop this cycle. Gentleness, firmness and steadiness wins.

3. Creativity
Find ways to deal with the child’s issues creatively. Find ways to deal with the child’s feelings creatively. Find ways to deal with the child creatively. Think outside the box. Traditional methods do not work and put the child further into isolation. Remember my story about the Hippie foster parents…they encouraged dancing as an expression of feeling. It was a release of both energy and feeling for a kid (me) in so much turmoil.
Other positive examples of creativity:
• **Talk to the Stars Game. My 2nd foster home did this. Because I could not talk to “people” and was very afraid of “people,” they started the “Talk to the stars” game. When the stars came out, we would go sit outside on a blanket and my foster mother would say something like: “Hello stars – we are glad to see you tonight and we came to talk to you.” Then she would say a phrase like “I am so tired.” Then each of us would point to a star twinkling and that would be a sign that the star heard. When we found 5 stars twinkling at us, it would be my turn to “Talk” to the stars. I would say a phrase and then we would look for the twinkling stars. Over time the phrases became more detailed and descriptive of my feelings and fears.
• A food storage container in my room where I could put the food I was stealing and hoarding. Instead of hiding food all over the room, I put the food in that bin, that was mine. Every couple of days, me and my foster mother would go through it to see if anything needed to be thrown away and we would talk about it. It was my safe space. I knew food was always there. No-one else could go into the storage bin without me knowing.
• “Punishment” that was activities with the family, such as raking leaves. This actually turned into a fun activity because we wound up “playing” in the leaves which released energy and tension.

4. Ability to Put Yourself in the “Child’s Shoes”
I guess this is called empathy. Never forget no matter how “bad” we have acted, that we are children. What may seem really stupid to you, most likely makes perfect sense to the child. For example, I am always amazed that beginning foster parents are shocked that foster children eat a ton of food or steal and hoard food. Many are overwhelmed by this. But, if you are a child where there was not constant food and you are starving, it makes perfect sense to steal and hide food.
Have you ever been starving? I don’t mean “oh, I didn’t eat dinner TODAY” starving — I mean you are so !*?* hungry that you eat paper to try to stop the pain in your stomach? or carpet? Starving where you can feel your stomach eating itself. That type of starving? For weeks? For longer? Have you?
Have you ever wondered when your next any food item will come– when your parents will put something in the refrigerator? And you give up waiting and search the trash cans, willing to eat bread that is soggy and covered with mold? Or half-eaten pizza that you find under table trash and cigarette ashes from a restaurant? Or a banana that well, you can’t really tell what it is….but it smells like something to eat.
This is what I mean. Put yourself in the of the child…..and it all makes sense.

5. Sense of Humor
This is incredibility important. Humor is at times the best medicine and a huge stress reliever for both the foster mom and foster child.
For example: When I was young, one of my “bad habits” when I was upset was writing on walls—all walls. In one foster home I lived in, the foster mother purchased all kinds of paper, in all sizes, shapes, colors, in hopes of getting me to write on the paper instead of the walls. She laid them on the floor, in almost every room. Normally I wrote on every wall in my bedroom, all four of them. One day I wrote on only one wall and then started writing on the papers on the floor. When my foster mother came in, instead of yelling at me for writing on the wall again, she looked at the floor, laughed and said “Progress LT. Good job.” She did not get mad, she laughed. Then she got on the floor and colored with me.

6. Willingness to Want to Teach and to Learn
Foster children come from a different life than you are probably accustomed to. Some of it bad, some of it good, and some of it different. Use this opportunity to both teach and learn from the children.
For example:
• I never ate at a table and never knew formal “manners” until I went to foster care. I had to be taught those.
• I never brushed my teeth before. I had to be taught to do that and why.
• I had to be taught to change clothes every day. When I lived with my bioparents, no-one cared and I did not have alot of clothes. I kept wearing the same things. Then when I went to foster care, there was “lots” of shirts and pants and socks. I had to be taught to wear different clothes and that clothes needed to be washed.
These may be extreme examples, but the point is that my world with my bioparents was very different than “normal” and I had alot to learn.
But at the same time, the foster parents had to want to learn what my world was like. That included listening to my experiences, hearing my feelings, and trying to understand what it was like for me. It may be hard to learn about all these things, but it helps aid in empathy and understanding the child. And it helps the child heal and make sense of things.
In a more concrete example, many foster children are educationally behind or have difficulties. Share your knowledge about the world, your ability to read, and be willing to teach the child — from things like school work, to things about the world, to things about survival. In my blog I mention many “things” I should have been taught along the way – school, cooking, how to drive, how to get a bank account and manage money, etc.etc. I also talk about some things I learned — building fires, appreciation of music, how to make water safe, that it was ok to drop stuff, etc. etc.

7. Creative Punishment that Forces Engagement, Not Isolation
Punishing foster children so that they are isolated, alone, sent back, etc. is not helping them at all. They act-out in fear, in anger, to test what will happen. If you respond as they expect, you prove that they are not worthwhile or are bad…exactly what they want.
Use creative punishment that ENGAGES the child to be with you. For example from my own experiences: raking leaves with the family, cooking dinner with the foster mother, building a birdhouse with the foster father, cleaning and picking up a room with the foster mother, etc.
Foster children are used to being alone. Punishing them so that they are “alone” again, does nothing but enforce their negative feelings about themselves and the world.

8. SMILE
Please smile. Many of us come from worlds where there were no smiles, no soft gentle eyes, no looks of happiness. Example: When I was 7 and I went into foster care, my first foster mother, Ms. Liz was a wonderful lady. She smiled. I was so captivated by her smile that I remember taking my fingers and running them along her lips to the corner… for which she would smile more. I don’t think I ever saw “smile” that much.
So, freaking SMILE.

9. FIGHT For Foster Kid’s Rights.
A good foster parent will fight to get the child what she/he needs. If you have read some of the comments on my blog, foster parents talk about having to “fight” for the child. If you don’t fight, the child will slip through the cracks. You may have to fight for mental health treatment, ILP, less visitation, more visitation, … the list goes on.
Example: I left foster care at 18 with a bad eating disorder, severe self-harming behavior, and mental illness that should have been treated by therapy. I left without life skill classes and without finishing high school. I should have been in a permanent placement early on in care. Fight for these things — the kids deserve themPart of being a good foster parent is being an advocate for the child. Because most likely, the child can’t or won’t advocate for themselves. SPEAK UP!

10. Be Willing to “Step Back in Time”
Foster kids may be emotionally younger than their chronological age. It may not be a developmental delay, but an emotional delay. Don’t be afraid to step back in time with a foster child, because, well, they may have missed alot of “stuff.”
Examples I can think of:
• Reading to them and having them read to you
• Playing with toys and games with them
• Teaching about different foods like what fruits are or how to cook
• Taking the child to a place like a zoo — where they may never have been
Example: When I went into foster care, one of my favorite games at age 7 was Candy Land. I had NEVER played that and I loved the colors and the counting and the candy. I thought it was funny. That game is for young children, but I played it constantly. I also was fascinated with Hungry Hungry Hippos, which is this game where you push the back of the hippo and it opens up to eat the marbles that are rolling around the board. The person whose Hippo eats the most marbles wins. I thought it was hysterical and it was about food. That game was also “below” where I should have been.

11. Let the Children Have a “Life”
Just because the children in your home are “foster children,” does not mean they don’t need a life. Encourage sports, music, extracurricular activities that can help build their self-esteem and that they enjoy. I know things cost money, but if money is an issue, encourage school-based activities or free activities. I grew up never having any extracurricular activities but wishing I had; because now as a young adult, I have very little clue what I like or what I would like to do for “fun.” I never experienced playing a sport or the yearbook club or drama club or playing an instrument, etc. All these things help define a child…make sure the opportunity is there.
**Think about cross-over if the child is moved. Are there activities that the child can continue if moved to another home? Sometimes foster parents and workers use the excuse that the kids “move so much” and that is why they are not active…work hard to think about ways to get them involved in activities that can stay CONSTANT.

12. Be THE Parent
Just because you are a “foster parent” does not mean you should not be THE parent. What I mean is attend parent-teacher conferences, attend the science fair, attend the game or the play or whatever else the child is involved in. Include them in your family events; don’t isolate them away. Act like their parent; not a friend, etc. because a parent is what the child needs.
13. Don’t Give Up!
This is probably the hardest suggestion to give, because I recognize that being a foster parent is not easy. I also recognize that you may get some kids who “give you a run for your money” and that you want to send back. My advice is to please think carefully about your decision. Although we as foster kids may egg-you-on to “send us back” or “to get rid of us” — deep down inside we are really terrified of being abandoned again. And in most cases, we are just testing you to do so. When you make that decision to get rid of us, in most children, it is very painful because we again feel “bad,” “unwanted,” “unworthy,” etc.
The example I share here, I am NOT proud about and feel tremendous guilt about to this day; but it eloquently shows what I mean.
Example: Recall the Hippies…one of the best foster homes I lived in. For personal reasons, they could no longer keep me and made the decision to “send me back.” I was devastated inside; beyond belief….. but I cursed them out, acted-out, and set fire to many of their record albums. My behaviors were so “bad” that they “sent me back” several weeks before the planned time. Their reaction to me acting-out reinforced how horrible I felt about myself and how “bad” I truly was.
It is like a vicious cycle. We egg-you-on, you respond how we expect, and it proves exactly how horrible we are. … Break that cycle and don’t respond or react how the foster kid wants. This builds trust.
If you give up, deep down inside, so does a piece of us. A shattered heart is hard to rebuild.

14. LISTEN
Please. Hear us. Sometimes lending your ear to a child in pain and turmoil is the best thing in the world. When a child is ready, she/he will talk. And when she/he talks….PLEASE LISTEN.
15. Be HONEST. Period.
Don’t lie — about anything. We are lied to enough by bioparents and many other people in our lives. Model honesty. Lying will break trust.
Don’t lie about our bioparents, don’t lie about why we are in foster care, don’t lie about yourselves. If you don’t know the answer, say so; but do not lie. Foster children tend to be excellent at reading body language and small signals — it is part of being hypervigilant. If you lie, we will know it….eventually.
The foster parents I respected the most were the ones who told me the truth no matter how hard it was to hear. For example:
• “LT, I know you want to see your mom, but everyone has tried very hard to find her. She is gone. They will keep trying but if she does not come back, there is no way to see her.”
• “LT, your dad is going to jail. The judge made the decision. You are safe now. But many many years from now, he may get out. But then you will be big. Do you have any questions?”
• “LT, you have to leave our home because we are moving to another state. We can’t take you with us. We only wanted to do foster care and never planned on adopting. “
These examples were somewhat confusing and painful at the time, but I appreciate the honesty. Lies DO NOT protect….always remember that.

There you have it, Foster Care 101, spoken by one who knows. You can read LT’s story at http://looneytunes09.wordpress.com/ **Just a heads up that the language may be offensive-but it is this young woman’s reality.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Foster youth Switch Schools at huge rate

It’s well known that foster youth change schools more frequently than other students, but a new study using pioneering data analysis shows foster youth are more than twice as likely to switch schools as their classmates.
Researchers at UC Berkeley’s Center for Social Services Research and at the Institute for Evidence-Based Change, a nonprofit based in Encinitas, found that about 95 percent of foster youth changed schools the first year they were placed in care compared to 37 percent to 38 percent of students in a comparison group.
That figure surprised attorney Jesse Hahnel, director of foster youth programs at the National Center for Youth Law in Oakland.
“You know that (foster youth) move, but, my God, I didn’t know that they move that much,” Hahnel said. “There’s a plethora of research pointing to the fact that every time a student transfers they lose six months of learning and are less likely to graduate from high school.”
Less than half of California foster youth graduate from high school or earn a GED; 8 percentage points less than students not in foster care but similar in most other ways, including race/ethnicity, English learner status, family income, gender, academic achievement, and school or district academic ranking. Source: Stuart Foundation.
Less than half of California foster youth graduate from high school or earn a GED. Source: Stuart Foundation.
There are about 55,000 foster youth in California; 80 percent of them are school age. (Studies have also shown that less than 80 percent of them are school age.) Researchers have also found that less than half of them complete high school.
In compiling the data on foster youth stability, researchers followed students in grades 3 to 8 for three years, beginning in the 2003-04 school year. It’s only the second longitudinal study of its kind, made possible by a project that linked two databases, the California Partnership for Achieving Student Success and the Child Welfare Services Case Management System. Students’ identities were encrypted so their privacy was not compromised during the research.
The foster students and a comparison group were matched by grade level, school year, gender, ethnicity, English learner status, participation in the National School Lunch Program, disability, district or school, state rank and baseline level on California standardized tests. The only difference was that students in the comparison group were not in foster care.
“The really big thing for us is that you can learn more about the foster youth through this combining of massive databases because it shed new light,” said Dana Quittner, a spokesperson for the Institute for Evidence-Based Change.
Michelle Lustig, director of the foster youth services program at the San Diego County Office of Education, said one finding in the report “jumped out at” her, and she’s already pondering what to do about it.
While highlighting how frequently foster youth change schools, the study, paradoxically, raised a significant caveat regarding how many times students switch schools. Researchers found that in cases where foster youth are enrolled in high-poverty or low-performing schools, based on their statewide academic performance ranking, it’s probably better to move them. More than 50 percent of the students fell into that category.
Before reading the report, Lustig said she and her staff never even considered the variability of school quality when thinking about the best interests of the child.
“I had to sit down and say, we probably want to look at this,” she recalled. “Staying in the wrong school could be detrimental.”
Lustig met with her manager, sent a note out to her entire staff and contacted the California Foster Youth Education Task Force and asked them to forward the study to all the members.
She said this is a case where research provided information they could use to immediately improve the students’ circumstances.
That helps counterbalance what educators can’t do for students in foster care. The report found that even before kids are placed in foster care, their life circumstances already put them at risk for doing poorly in school. Foster youth generally are participants in the National School Lunch Program and others are English learners, which the report found are “better predictors of academic performance over time” than being removed from homes for abuse or neglect.
Nearly 80 percent of students in the study who scored far below basic on the California Standards Tests participated in the National School Lunch Program. Foster youth in those groups were more likely to score “far below basic” on the California Standards Tests in math and English language arts. Among students who scored in the proficient range, 68 to 71 percent were in the lunch program.
The study’s authors are planning more research to refine the measures of school quality and how it affects academic achievement for foster youth. They’re also urging other states to replicate California’s model.
“This California study is a strong indicator of what can be accomplished through linking diverse data bases,” said Brad Phillips, president of the Institute for Evidence-Based Research. He said it could be used “to explore the combination of social services and education data to improve the knowledge base concerning foster youth, the challenges facing them, and the opportunities to address them.”

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Help available to adopt special needs kids

Help available to adopt special needs kids

http://www.trbimg.com/img-5249bac9/turbine/ct-x-adoption-a-1002-em-jpg-20130930/600/600x396

Leila Adams watches her husband, John Adams, gets a kiss from their adopted special needs daughter, Ruby, 2, as he comes home from work. (Nuccio DiNuzzo, Chicago Tribune)
Adopting a healthy child can put a huge dent into your bank accounthttp://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-10-02/news/ct-x-1002-adoption-grants-20131002_1_adoption-agencies-donaldson-adoption-institute-bethany-christian-services#. If you adopt a special needs child, you add a lifetime of medical bills.
Fortunately, help is available. In the last decade, many nonprofit associations have been formed to grant money to help with the adoption of special needs children. Other funds and financialhttp://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-10-02/news/ct-x-1002-adoption-grants-20131002_1_adoption-agencies-donaldson-adoption-institute-bethany-christian-services# resources are available through adoption agencies and the state and federal governments. Each organization has different criteria, though, so parents must do their homework.
"People rule out special needs adoption because they think they have to be Hollywood stars to afford it, but you don't," said Jenna Fernandez, of Naperville. She and her husband, Ray, adopted a daughter, now 5, who has developmental delays and cerebral palsy, and a son, now 11 months. "You may have to make sacrifices; we've delayed buying a home. But there's helphttp://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-10-02/news/ct-x-1002-adoption-grants-20131002_1_adoption-agencies-donaldson-adoption-institute-bethany-christian-services#."
To defray adoption legal fees, the Fernandezes received a grant from Northbrook-based Gift of Adoption. And they took advantage of the federal adoption tax credit (irs.gov), which has a current maximum of $12,650.
According to the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, adopting a child can cost as much as $50,000. Raising a special needs child includes many costs other parents don't have, such as pediatric wheelchairs and car ramps. Even with health insurance, the families must pay for each child's deductible and for uncovered expenses.
Many organizations that grant money to adoptees have adoption stories behind them. Show Hope in Franklin, Tenn., for example, was named for the girl (Shaohannah) who was adopted from China in 2000 by singer Steven Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth.
"They started the organization so they could use their celebrity to help more families adopt," said executive director Scott Hasenbalg.
Some adoption agencies have their own programs to help parents financehttp://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-10-02/news/ct-x-1002-adoption-grants-20131002_1_adoption-agencies-donaldson-adoption-institute-bethany-christian-services# special needs adoptions.
Families who adopt through Bethany Christian Services (bethany.org) in Palos Heights can tap the agency's Caring Connection fundhttp://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-10-02/news/ct-x-1002-adoption-grants-20131002_1_adoption-agencies-donaldson-adoption-institute-bethany-christian-services#. The Finding Families for Children fund helps parents of "medically fragile" children who are adopted through the Cradle in Evanston.
Chicagoans Leila and John Adams tapped the Finding Families for Children fund for the $200-a-month cost of food supplements prescribed for their daughter, Ruby, now age 2. The Cradle did the homestudy for their adoption.
Through the agency that facilitated Ruby's adoption from Armenia, the Adamses learned about Illinois' Early Intervention program (dhs.state.il.us), which provides testing for children through age 3.
Although Ruby may evade the "special needs" label in the long term, she needs help battling the effects of her low birth weight (2 pounds) and her "failure to thrive" early diagnosis.
"Because of limited resources they had in Armenia, she has a complicated combination of problems," Leila said.
Leila's advice to other parents: If possible, switch your health insurance plan from an HMO to a PPO to broaden your choices of service providers.
"For example, it's hard to draw blood from her because of her malnourishment, so now we can go to a specialist in Chicago who can do it," she said.
Some special needs children qualify for federal Supplemental Security Income (ssa.gov). The state uses the federal criteria to determine if a child is eligible for the Illinois Adoption Assistance Program (state.il.us/dcfs), which is available for domestic special needs adoptees. The state program includes a one-time reimbursement for adoption expenses, monthly assistance from $400 to $980 and a medical card for doctor visits and drugs. The sticky point: A child must be approved for the state program before his or her adoption is finalized.
To make sure you take full advantage of the governmental programs, "hire an attorney who specializes in adoption law, because the eligibility rules are complicated," advised Christina Schneider, attorney at the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services.
Many adoptive parents also get reimbursements from their employers. The larger the employer, the more likely it offers this benefit.
"Even if the company doesn't offer anything officially, it doesn't hurt to ask," said Gloria Hochman, spokeswoman for the Philadelphia-based National Adoption Center, which educates parents about financial resources. "More and more employers offer adoption benefits because it's a win-win situation. It doesn't cost the employer much, because it affects a relatively small number of employees, but it tells the employee that the company looks kindly toward adoption."
To find the top 100 adoption-friendly employers, see the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption (davethomasfoundation.org), named for the Wendy's Co. founder, who was an adoptee.
Military families also qualify for adoption fee reimbursements of up to $2,000 (militaryfamily.org).
And many groups also provide aid to assist in the adoption of healthy older children, especially when the adoption involves siblings.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Former foster children plead for kids to have attorneys

Former foster children plead for kids to have attorneys

The common thread was control. Losing it. Yearning for it. Grasping for it.

That's part of being in the foster care system. moving from foster family to foster family, from school to school without any legal say in your fate.

Three women, all former foster kids, shared their experiences with the Washington House's Early Learning & Human Services Committee and Judiciary Committee on Thursday at a hearing in Olympia. They testified in favor of a stalled bill that would require the state to provide foster kids — indeed, all kids — with an attorney in family court cases where the child's parents have had their parental rights terminated.

"I did not know what it would be like to feel alone until I was in foster care (at the age of 5)," Delilah Bruskas, 48, told the committee. Delilah, who is from Tacoma, lived with seven foster families, attending four elementary, two junior high and four high schools. "If I had legal representation," she continued, "I'd have asked several questions: When can I see my mother? When can I go home? ... I feared social workers. To me, they were the most powerful people on earth. They could take a child from a family. ... I believe legal representation can ensure optimal outcomes."

"It takes away your humanity," said Mikhail Stewart, 21, of Olympia, about her journey through 22 different foster homes in six years. "It seems like you're a piece of property."
Mandy Urwiler, 19, of Seattle said the attorney she obtained in family court four years ago "treated me like an adult when the state treated me like a kid."

Washington's 39 counties are a hodgepodge of different rules about when to provide attorneys for foster children whose parents had their rights terminated. Right now, the appointment of attorneys in such cases is discretionary — based on a judge’s determination — and it varies widely across the state. King County appoints an attorney for children 12 and older; the Benton-Franklin county system for kids eight and older; judges in several counties don't appoint attorneys for kids at all.

"Youths are constantly baffled by the fact that some kids get an attorney and some do not," said Jim Theofelis, executive director of The Mockingbird Society, a foster care advocacy organization. "Surely, we do not want a justice-by-geography system. ... An unintended consequence of no legal representation is that it feeds that feeling of desperation in young people."

Washington is one of the worst states in the nation when it comes to giving children whose parents' rights have been terminated access to an attorney. (Kids in Massachusetts have the right to legal representation at birth.) But that may be starting to change.
In the last legislative session in Olympia, Rep. Roger Goodman, D-Kirkland, introduced a bill to lower the age — from 12 to 7 — at which a child must be informed of his or her right to an attorney. The bill passed the state House of Representatives (74-23). But the state Senate deleted the mandatory provision, giving judges discretion over whether to appoint an attorney. The Senate also bumped the minimum age back up to 12. Thus modified, Goodman’s bill was kicked back to the House, where it sat untouched for the rest of the session.

In the upcoming session, legislators will likely decide how to rank appropriations for this type of program against the state's other budget priorities, according to Rep. Jamie Pedersen, D-Seattle and chair of the judiciary committee.

Meanwhile, Cowlitz County Superior Court Judge Stephen Warning, speaking for the Washington Superior Court Judges Association, said the organization opposes the bill, albeit reluctantly, because many county governments can't afford the extra court-appointed attorneys. "The counties can't pay for this process," said Warning, adding that the association wants help from the state.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Family reunited after child welfare system odyssey

A college application essay tips off authorities to a family's slide into drugs and homelessness. After a year of parenting classes and drug treatment, the family is back together.

    Family's yearlong odyssey in the child welfare system
    Danielle Stone plays with her brother Joseph after Friday's hearing. "Coming from a million-dollar house to being homeless .... it was a nightmare. Drugs were a way to not think about it," their mother said. (Luis Sinco / Los Angeles Times / September 20, 2013)
    The college application essay was the tipoff. It was beautifully written but painfully rendered; a high school student's story of her family's tumble from middle-class stability into homelessness and addiction.
    It helped Danielle Stone earn a spot at UCLA. But it also drew her family into a yearlong odyssey through Los Angeles County's child welfare system.
    A teacher who read the essay notified social workers. They visited the family in the San Pedro motel they moved into after a string of evictions.
      "They felt like there might be emotional abuse," recalled Danielle's mother, Lisa Stone. "When they visited, everything was OK."
      For the next six months, things were mostly OK. Then in the summer of 2012, social workers monitoring the family walked in on an ugly argument between mother and daughter. About a month later, they picked up Danielle's little brother from school and announced that he wouldn't be living with their parents anymore.
      "They did an on-the-spot drug test, and we failed," said Lisa's husband, Archie Stone.
      The couple began using drugs when they lost their home in the recession. Then Archie's paychecks from his longshoreman's job were garnished and they couldn't even afford an apartment.
      "Coming from a million-dollar house to being homeless .... it was a nightmare," Lisa said. "Drugs were a way to not think about it."
      They didn't realize how much they were hurting their children with their mood swings and neglect.
      "The day social workers walked up the door with our daughter and son and said he was going to foster care, that was the worst day of our lives," she said.
      ::
      If that was the worst day of their lives, last Friday was probably one of the best.
      That afternoon they were among a half-dozen reunited families released from supervision by the Department of Children and Family Services.
      To get their children back, Lisa and Archie had completed drug treatment programs, taken parenting classes, attended weekly therapy sessions and compiled a year's worth of clean drug tests.
      Claudia Felder, 21, was in and out of the U.S. foster care system for nearly 10 years before she found a permanent family. Her difficult story ended happily, but that's not always the case for the 400,000 kids in foster care in America."If you'd asked me at the time it happened whether we needed all of that, I'd be in total disagreement," Archie said. "But did it work out the way it should? It probably did.
      "Our life has gotten a lot better. We're a lot closer than during our days of addiction. That part has really been good."
      For years family reunification has been a goal of the child welfare system — and a target for critics when children suffer because parents don't make good.
      But the horror stories don't tell the whole tale. So many children are taken from struggling parents with fixable problems that it makes sense to try to repair families rather than strand children in foster care.
      "This is the best thing we do," said Judge Michael Nash, who presided over Friday's reunification hearings. "When we can put a family back together and get the government out of their lives, it's a victory for everybody involved."
      Last year, 6,000 children were returned to their families in a county that has more than 17,000 children in foster care.