Even the best foster homes can’t replace family support

Consider joining us, and making a difference in 2012

Register@ http://www.afamilyforeverychild.org/Announce/OpenHouseForm.php

Published: (Wednesday, Dec 28, 2011 05:00AM) Midnight, Dec 28 

When you hear about child abuse or neglect, most people’s first reaction is “get that kid out of danger.” Once we know the child has been removed, we breathe a sigh of relief, assume that the child will be better off in foster care, and consider the problem fixed. If we think of the abuser, it is almost always to condemn and judge: “How could they do that?”

While our reactions make sense — child safety is imperative — is removing children from their homes and everything they know really the best for them and for our community? As 2012 nears, take time to reflect on this important question. And realize Lane County has a higher than average rate of children in foster care. More than 1,000 kids are in care on any given day.

Foster care is an essential element for keeping children safe, and most foster homes provide great places for children. But even the best foster homes are not meant to be permanent.

Children who grow up in foster care do not do as well as those raised in their own homes. They are more likely to do poorly in school, become teen parents and become involved in the criminal justice system.

Meet Dylan. He was separated from his siblings and placed in foster care at age 5, due to a history of abuse and neglect. Over the next seven years, Dylan was put in 18 different homes.

Predictably, he began showing serious behaviors including academic problems, self-harm and anger. Alone in the world, his options were quickly fading.

If we don’t put kids who are at risk into foster care, how do we keep them safe? And if we place them in care, how do we reduce the negative ramifications?

One answer may surprise you: Increase the child’s contact with safe family members and work toward family reunification.

“Whoa!” you say, “Those people have problems — don’t give their kids back.” It’s true: Reunification will not work for all families. However, children who have contact with their families while in care or who are fostered by extended family members tend to have better outcomes and overall higher resiliency.

Oregon’s child welfare system has assigned a high priority to reunification and relative foster care. Since 2009, Casey Family Programs has partnered with Oregon’s Department of Human Services, the Commission on Children and Families and the state Judicial Department to safely and equitably reduce the number of children in foster care. 

In the summer of 2011, Lane County was invited to join this effort, and local leaders said yes.

Now it’s time for everyone to get involved. Families who have children in the foster care system tend to have low incomes and are disproportionately Native American, Alaska native and African-American.

These families are members of your church. Their children go to school with your kids. You see them at the park. They are your co-workers; in many ways they are just like you and your family. It’s time to step forward and support birth families, extended families and foster and adoptive families.

Remember Dylan? His caseworker partnered with A Family for Every Child to comb his case files for safe family and positive support connections. Dylan ended up reconnecting with his siblings and their adoptive parents, several members of his extended family and his fourth-grade teacher.

These people who are so important to Dylan circled around him, giving him a sense of identity, security and family.

Make your 2012 new year’s resolution to be the difference for the children in our communities. Be there for Dylan:

Attend our open house on Jan. 10 to learn about volunteer opportunities at A Family for Every Child, Court Appointed Special Advocates and other local agencies. Discover how you can support, mentor, foster or advocate for a child in need. Call 541-343-2856 for more information.

Support children who are in foster care. Include them in activities; invite family members to participate as well.

Don’t paint families with one brush, assuming the entire family — aunts, uncles, grandparents — is guilty just because the parent abused a child.

Reach out to families who are struggling. Offer compassion, support and understanding. Find opportunities to help parents who are making positive changes in their lives. Recognize that most parents want what is best for their children; everyone makes mistakes.

Talk about how to support families in your school, workplace, faith organization and neighborhood. Support families as their children come back to them.

These are our neighbors, friends, acquaintances and kids. We all have a stake in this. And we all have the power to make a big difference right now. 

Raise your hand and say you’ll help. See you on Jan. 10!

Christy Barrett-Obie, executive director of A Family for Every Child, is a member of the Lane County Casey Initiative Steering Committee working to safely and equitably reduce the number of children in foster care.