A Reflection on the Body Image of an Adopted Girl
It started in the 3rd grade. Emma started gaining weight and the other children began to tease her. She lost friends and felt lonely. Now 30, she realizes that this period of time coincided with her feelings about being adopted. She became increasingly aware of how different she was from her family – besides the fact that they were thin – including her younger biological sister, they were outgoing whereas she was shy and reserved. She felt such shame – around being fat, around being adopted, and around being ‘different.’
Emma came home from school every day and used food to comfort herself, gaining even more weight. By 5th grade, her parents took her to a dietician who put her on a low-fat diet, common in those days. She gained even more weight and by middle school/high school, she was in plus-sized clothing and remained socially isolated. Emma’s loving, well-intentioned parents told her that her birth family must have weight problems too – that it was her ‘genetics’ and she was going to have to try harder. She could not eat dessert like they could. She should have only one slice of pizza. They sent her to special camps to lose weight. They tried to comfort her around her social isolation by letting her know that she would certainly make friends once she lost weight. If only she could…
Therapy with an adoption-competent therapist in Emma’s last year of high school laid the seed for change. She began to make friends in college – “big as I still was”- I found that as I began to accept myself, people discovered that I was a fun and interesting person to be around.” Having friends helped boost her self-confidence further. By her senior year, Emma gradually began to change her lifestyle – keeping a food diary, watching her food portions, eating a healthier diet, and exercising. Emma lost 100 pounds and has managed to keep it off for almost 10 years. She shares her story in the hopes that it will give hope to children, teens and their parents who are struggling with issues related to health, food, body image, relationships, and adoption.
–
Emma came home from school every day and used food to comfort herself, gaining even more weight. By 5th grade, her parents took her to a dietician who put her on a low-fat diet, common in those days. She gained even more weight and by middle school/high school, she was in plus-sized clothing and remained socially isolated. Emma’s loving, well-intentioned parents told her that her birth family must have weight problems too – that it was her ‘genetics’ and she was going to have to try harder. She could not eat dessert like they could. She should have only one slice of pizza. They sent her to special camps to lose weight. They tried to comfort her around her social isolation by letting her know that she would certainly make friends once she lost weight. If only she could…
Therapy with an adoption-competent therapist in Emma’s last year of high school laid the seed for change. She began to make friends in college – “big as I still was”- I found that as I began to accept myself, people discovered that I was a fun and interesting person to be around.” Having friends helped boost her self-confidence further. By her senior year, Emma gradually began to change her lifestyle – keeping a food diary, watching her food portions, eating a healthier diet, and exercising. Emma lost 100 pounds and has managed to keep it off for almost 10 years. She shares her story in the hopes that it will give hope to children, teens and their parents who are struggling with issues related to health, food, body image, relationships, and adoption.
–
No comments:
Post a Comment