A Map to Self-Sufficiency?

California is doing it.

What's that, you ask? They're providing state funding to allow foster children to remain in the system until they are 21, and they're offering support to these young adults as they transition from childhood to adulthood. The law passed in 2010, and in some counties, up to 98% of eligible youth are taking part in the program. And it's working. There are real, measurable benefits of extending care and support.

Read more about one young woman's story and about the program itself.

Other states are increasing their support through a child's 21st birthday as well. In 2008, Congress passed a law that awarded matching funds to states that extend foster care beyond the age of 18, which reduces the financial burden of participating states.

The potential benefits of extending care are great. According to an issue brief written by Jim Casey, entitled "Foster Care to 21: Doing it Right", the outcomes for children allowed to stay in the system until age 21 are far better than those whose support stops at age 18.

With programs like California's, the benefit to youth who have already faced more hardship and trauma in their first 18 years than most of us will face in a lifetime is immeasurable. If we can help children find their way by providing a road map and support, both emotional and financial, we can keep these children from ending up in situations similar to those they grew up with. And if you ask me, there's no price too high for stopping that cycle.

So what's keeping the rest of the states from doing the same? With all of the increased risks children in the foster system face if they age out of the system at 18, I can't help but wonder why all states aren't taking advantage of matching federal funds for extending foster care. These young men and women need our help, so I'm hoping that it's just a matter of time.

Say Yes

There is nothing more powerful than hearing from foster children themselves. And they are asking you to say yes. Say yes to love. Say yes to family. Say yes to them.

I couldn't begin to tell you what they can in just a few minutes.

Watch this short video and see what I mean.

Then think about it. Can you say yes? Will you?

Meet some of the kids waiting for a home right now.

Adopting a Teen

It sounds crazy to some, adopting a teenager - especially an older teen who's about to be an adult. It sounds crazy, but is it? I don't think so.

In fact, the more I think about adopting teens, the more excited I am at the prospect.

Why?

• Teens are fun. Remember what you were like in high school (think about the good stuff). Recall how passionate you were about the things you liked, how every cause you cared about really mattered, how you experienced everything so intensely....those are some of the things that make teens great.
  
• Teens are fascinating. They have started to really know themselves. High school is often a time of introspection. Teens start to learn who they are and how they might fit in in this world. It's a great experience to share with a child.
  
• Teens on the waiting children lists want to be adopted and understand what that means. When a child is over a certain age (~15), they have to consent to their adoption. So if a teenager is available for adoption, it means they are looking for a family and they want to be adopted.
  
• Teens' caseworkers and mentors have a really good idea about who the teens are and what difficulties they face. So you'll have a better chance of being fully prepared for the challenges that lie ahead as you build your family. You'll know a lot about their resiliency and how they handle their emotions. Hear one adoptive mom's story and encouragement for adopting a teen.
  
• Your chances for adopting quickly are greatly increased because there are so many teens waiting for a home. If you are looking for a younger child, you could wait many months or years. But if you open your home to a teen, your adoption dreams could be fulfilled in a few months - the time it takes for you to complete the home study process.

A Family = A Chance

But for me, the most important reason is that adopting a teen means giving that child a chance to be part of a loving, stable, safe family. 

It can help them beat the odds.

It can give them a real, fighting chance to reach their potential.

It is a gift beyond measure. 

Teens who age out of the foster system face all sorts of obstacles, and they are at risk for so many things, including:

• Homelessness
• Joblessness
• Pregnancy and teen parenting
• Poverty
• Depression
• Substance use and abuse
• Prison stays
• Health problems
• PTSD

But when a teen finds a family and a safe place to call home, those risks are greatly reduced. Together, people who open their hearts and homes to teens can make a real, measurable difference in the lives of children and in the future of our country.

I haven't adopted a teen - yet. But I have opened my home to two of my son's friends who needed homes. They were 17 and 18. A boy and a girl. It was difficult. Really difficult at times. But it was so rewarding, and it was fun! And the best part? These kids, now young adults, still look to me for advice, and they still tell me, many years later, how grateful they are that I gave them a home, some help, and a chance. I know I didn't do much, but I did what I could. And I'd like to think it made a positive difference. I'd like to continue doing that by adopting a family full of teens. I hope you'll consider it as well. The teens need us. And, really, I think in some ways, we need them. There's no greater gift than a family who gives unconditional love - and that type of love can be given and received.

Every year, more than 28,000 children age out of the foster system. Can you commit to reducing that number by one?

If you think you would like to adopt an older child or a teen, get in touch with a caseworker in your state today. Or start by learning more about adopting teens.

Opening Your Door

I woke up this morning with a thought, and it has stuck with me all day. If a child knocked on your door in need of help - in need of food, love, shelter, encouragement, support....in need of anything - what would you do?

Imagine for a moment that child, maybe she's a 12-year-old girl. She's lost everything she has but a small bag with some clothes stuffed inside, and she's asking you to give her a meal, to listen to her story, to maybe give her a safe place to sleep. Would you open your door and let her in?

I think most of us would answer yes, absolutely! There'd be little question about how we'd react if we came face-to-face with a child all alone in the world with no one to care for him or her. Even if we didn't have an extra bed, we'd figure something out. At the very least, we'd call around and find some help. 

The Stats 

In the United States, there are about 115 million households. And as of 2013, there are about 104,000 children in the US waiting to be adopted. It sounds like a staggering number - one hundred and four thousand - and it is. But when you consider that there are 115 million households in the US, giving all of those kids homes should be doable, right? 

Less than one one-thousandth of a percent of US households would have to open their doors to a waiting child in order to give all of these children homes. It's actually about one in 1100, rounding to the nearest 100th. In a town of about 26,000 with about 10,000 households, we'd only need nine families to open their homes to a waiting child. 

There are all sorts of arguments that can be made to explain why this isn't so simple. For example, not all households are suitable for children, many of them are elderly people who can't physically care for a child, lots of people don't have the room or the money, and many people simply don't want to. These are all good and valid arguments. But when I consider that only 9 families in my hometown of 26,000 people would need to adopt a waiting child, and 9 families in the next town, it really does seem possible. 

Give the gift of childhood. Of family. Of love. 

Each of us, in our own way, can be part of a legacy - part of the generation that puts an end to waiting children lingering in foster homes or group homes, thinking they are just another statistic and knowing that their obstacles ahead are huge. Each and every one of us can help.

So today, I make this plea to you: 

If you have ever thought about adopting from foster care, take the first step.

• Learn more about how to adopt and what it entails, and make a phone call to an agency in your state to get started
• "Meet" some of the kids.
• Watch Shane's story. (Really, it's a worthwhile, important story.)
• Hear from people who have been there.

It's not an easy process, but it isn't that hard either. We've all done things that were more difficult, more time consuming, and more frustrating than to complete a home study. And we all know that the more challenging it is to reach a goal, the greater the reward can be when we do. 

If you haven't thought about foster care adoption, I ask that you do. 

Consider that imaginary girl in my opening story, and remember that she's not imaginary. She's real. And she's part of a group of more than a hundred thousand kids right now who desperately need your help. If you think there may be room in your home and your heart for a child, please, please think, pray, consider, talk about it. You might be surprised what you learn when you really think about the possibilities. 

If you know adoption isn't in your future, consider helping in other ways.

At A Family for Every Child, we completely understand that adoption isn't for every family, and that's perfectly OK. You can still be part of the solution. There are many ways you can help. Here are a few:

• Spread the word about the children in need. Tell your friends. Talk about it. Write about it. Help raise awareness. Social media is a powerful thing. Share a story or blog on Facebook or Twitter. Share this blog. Even if you only reach one person, you've made a difference. Really.
• Mentor a child in foster care.
• Become a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA).
• Become a respite care provider for foster and foster/adopt parents.
• Get involved in any way you can. Donate money, time, or supplies to organizations that help waiting children; there are many that could use your help, including ours..
• Offer your skills as a photographer or videographer to adoption agencies.
• Help create lifebooks and scrapbooks for children in care.
• Give children the chance to be a princess for a day or a hero for a day on March 2, 2014.

And if you know a child who is in foster care, offer your encouragement and support as a role model and someone they can count on - your care will mean more than you will ever know.

Why You CAN Do It - Why Most of Us Can

There are always going to be reasons not to adopt a waiting child. And like I said earlier, some of those reasons are valid. But there are more reasons to do it. I read a great blog on the Dave Thomas Foundation website called "5 Reasons You Won't Adopt from Foster Care, And Why They're Wrong." The article calls out to all of us who have thought about adopting from foster care but have turned away for one reason or another.

Here is my favorite part of the article, quoting Dave Thomas himself: ""These children are not someone else's responsibility; they are our responsibility." When children in foster care are permanently removed from their families of birth, we make what should be an unbreakable promise to them: we will find them a family. And we will do it in a way that cherishes their childhood and their developmental needs so that they can grow and thrive within the birthright of every child - a safe and secure family of his or her own."

Those are some powerful words. Heavy words. 

It's our responsibility.

It's my responsibility.

It's yours.

And it IS our responsibility, collectively, as a community of people who truly care about the welfare of our neighbors, especially those who have the greatest need. Together we can do this. Together, we will.

Thank you. Your care for children means so much. On behalf of all of us and all of the children, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.